It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
