i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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