If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
