Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
