I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
So much Jack, so little girl.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
