Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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