Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
