we're chasing vodka with high fives
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
