i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
