i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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