she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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