I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
