Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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