Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize