worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
