we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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