he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
