apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
