They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My breasts were aching with rage.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
