There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
