i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just want to make out with him forever
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
