this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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