I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
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