Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Send help, water and tortillas.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
