is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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