I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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