in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
