you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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