Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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