she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
