i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Randomize
