Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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