everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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