I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
