R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
