is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
