you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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