Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It's just like the Real World with babies
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
