no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
