We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
