he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
