you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
