in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
