margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
