its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
