and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
