you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
