Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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