He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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