If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
