Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
