Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
