Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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