Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
