sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
